Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Cooking up Murder by Miranda Bliss

Reading this was like having half a pint of Turtle Pecan frozen yogurt in the house when I'm craving Rocky Road ice cream but I'm too lazy to go to the store to pick up Rocky Road and the only reason I have Turtle Pecan is because my husband wanted it and picked it up and that's all that's in the house. I pick at the Turtle Pecan (not my favorite because I don't like pecans) and every once in a while, I bite into a pecan. Why not just throw it out and buy the Rocky Road? I don't know, I guess because I'm obsessive compulsive and lazy. Now, I look at the empty container, have a stomach ache and wonder why did I do it? This was the way I felt when I finished this book.

Annie is recently divorced and wallowing, her bestest friend, Eve, has decided what Annie needs to do to break from this slump: take cooking lessons. Only problem is, Annie can't cook and feels the lessons will be a waste of time. Still Eve persists and the next day, Annie finds herself under the spell of the handsome culinary Scotsman, Jim. If only that magic transferred to her cooking skills. Another thing which spoils the class is a guy, Drago, dying in the parking lot, he was poisoned and not by Annie's cooking. Apparently, someone had it in for the guy and slipped him some poisonous foxglove. Unfortunately, Annie's sleuthing skill closely follow her cooking skills, but she's so wrapped up in the adventure she doesn't listen to her instincts and decides to find out who killed Drago.

Why did I continue to read this book? I guess it's like my analogy with the Turtle Pecan, I kept eating, telling myself the last pecan was the last pecan in the pint when I'd bite into another one. Bad analogy for a bad book. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on the book (though there are many points that merit it). The writing would be okay, then edge under my skin. The author tried hard not to "talk" to the reader, but every now and then, "you" would slip into the pages. Then the writer committed another one of my pet peeves (I wonder what it could be). Every now and then it would pop it (like this). If it had just been the once or twice, I might not have minded (every chapter was pushing it and in longer and longer pieces). sigh I think the ending is what did it. The sleuth got everything wrong, but managed to be in the right place at the wrong time to get all the pieces together and the final nail in this coffin bent going in making it hard for me to cross the suspension bridge of disbelief on this one. If I had written this story, I'd probably be kicked out of the writing group. I know I said I'd give mysteries a break, but it's akin to a sailor saying he's not going to sail then looks at the waves and takes off. I should've stayed on dry land a little while longer.

7 comments:

Amanda said...

Okay, so the book might have sucked, but your review is priceless. You had me cracking up a couple times.

ps - considering what we've put up with in our writing group, I don't think you'd kicked out for this. I haven't read it, but I have had to suffer through some real crap in the writing group...

Jason Gignac said...

Wait a minute... your husband reads mysteries about spunky female detectives, too?

Christina said...

Amanda - If I brought this to the Sunday group, the moderator would've torn it to shreds, deservedly so. I'd hate to think what would've been said at that session.

Jason - For that reason alone, my husband doesn't go to the store for me and he's been banned from picking out movies several times. Sheesh, I hope someone writes an article on how to send their husbands to the store...

Amanda said...

Oh Christina - Ms. Moderator who wrote just such an article - what a mood you must be in! :D

Christina said...

Just stressed and frustrated with some of the authors I've had to drop lately. This is my way of letting off some steam, I guess. I should probably pop in a MST3K DVD. The current book I'm reading doesn't show promise or I'm just not in the mood...

Amanda said...

Hey, I like the jokes. You're cracking me up tonight!

We need to have another MST3K night.

Christina said...

Let's do it! Let me know when.